Guys always remember to eat your Veggies!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Words of Truth
Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads...
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish means 49
Adventurous " - Slept with everyone
Athletic " - No tits
Average looking " -Ugly
Beautiful " - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile " - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure " - On medication
Feminist " - Fat Free spirit " -
Junkie Friendship first " - Former very *friendly* person
Fun " - Annoying
New Age " - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded " - Desperate
Outgoing " - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate " - Sloppy drunk
Professional " - Bitch Voluptuous " -
Very Fat -Large frame "
- Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate " - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you everthink about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice tits!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex withyou
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sexwith you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyeand a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish means 49
Adventurous " - Slept with everyone
Athletic " - No tits
Average looking " -Ugly
Beautiful " - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile " - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure " - On medication
Feminist " - Fat Free spirit " -
Junkie Friendship first " - Former very *friendly* person
Fun " - Annoying
New Age " - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded " - Desperate
Outgoing " - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate " - Sloppy drunk
Professional " - Bitch Voluptuous " -
Very Fat -Large frame "
- Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate " - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you everthink about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice tits!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex withyou
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sexwith you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyeand a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Three women were talking about their love lives.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce;smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a porsche; fast andpowerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."
**************************************************************************
Olympic Condoms...
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There is three colors", he replies, "Gold,Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?",she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course, " says the man proudly. The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
**********************************************************************
The Immaculate Conception...
A seventy-five year old guy, his hair is completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant. Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward.
He says to the nurse, "Well, how'd I do?" The nurse says, "She had twins." He says, "Heh, heh, heh ... well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there's snow on the roof, therecan still be fire in the furnace."
She says, "Well, then you'd better change filters.Both of the babies are black. '
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce;smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a porsche; fast andpowerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."
**************************************************************************
Olympic Condoms...
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There is three colors", he replies, "Gold,Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?",she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course, " says the man proudly. The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
**********************************************************************
The Immaculate Conception...
A seventy-five year old guy, his hair is completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant. Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward.
He says to the nurse, "Well, how'd I do?" The nurse says, "She had twins." He says, "Heh, heh, heh ... well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there's snow on the roof, therecan still be fire in the furnace."
She says, "Well, then you'd better change filters.Both of the babies are black. '
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Register #5
A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten toget condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could havesome brought up to the register. She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of himand called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms,Register 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and likemost of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got to the register, he told the checker that he toohad forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could havesome brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn'tknow. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom, andsaid, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female,so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he neededsome condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him one quick squeeze,then picked up the intercom, and said... "Cleanup, register 5!"
A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten toget condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could havesome brought up to the register. She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of himand called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms,Register 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and likemost of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got to the register, he told the checker that he toohad forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could havesome brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn'tknow. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom, andsaid, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female,so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he neededsome condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him one quick squeeze,then picked up the intercom, and said... "Cleanup, register 5!"
Monday, February 26, 2007
The Hippie and the Nun...
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the frontseat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she wouldhave sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politelydeclines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on its way the driver says to the hippie,"I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you".
The hippie says that he'd love to know,so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. Ifyou went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you.
The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnightsure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middleof praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "IAM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep hervirginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.
After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha,Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the frontseat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she wouldhave sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politelydeclines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on its way the driver says to the hippie,"I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you".
The hippie says that he'd love to know,so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. Ifyou went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you.
The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnightsure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middleof praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "IAM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep hervirginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.
After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha,Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Oh YEAH!!!
Preface: I have no reservations about teaching women to use an electric vibrator, especially if she's never had an orgasm.
The strong, consistent stimulation from these massage machines can make up for years of sensory deprivation. The general fear about using a vibrator is not being able to have "normal sex" whatever that means. I urge women to let go of their romantic notions about getting every orgasms from a lover, and I urge men to let go of proving their good in bed by giving a woman her orgasm. Instead, couples can bring a variety of sextoys into the bedroom. They'll have a lot more fun as sex becomes more playful. (Betty Dobson)
1. Genital Massage
Maintain an ongoing visual relationship with your genitals, and begin some selfloving sessions in front of a free standing mirror. Trimming and shaping your pubic hair can give you a heightened awareness and appreciation of your genitals. Oil and massage the entire area, pull back the hood to expose your clitoris. Then, spread your inner and outer labia, and admire the beauty and design of your vulva.
2. Using the PC Muscle
The PC or Pubococcygeus muscle goes around the anus, across the entire pelvic floor, and attaches in front to the pubic bone on both women and men. To locate this muscle, simply stop the flow of urine. A weak PC muscle will result in urinary incontinence. To keep your PC muscle toned, consciously squeeze and release it during masturbation and partnersex to intensify each orgasm. These contractions can be felt in the anus, vagina, clitoris, and penis.
3. Vaginal Penetration
I feel it's important to do some form of regular penetration to aerate the vaginal barrel, stimulate lubrication, and to moisturize the vaginal interior with natural cold pressed oils. Although I'm not motivated to learn how to ejaculate, I love squeezing my PC muscle on a dildo especially when I put pressure on my urethral sponge, or Female Prostate Gland. I prefer these names over G-Spot because they're less confusing.
4. Breathing
Like any other athletic activity, achieving orgasm requires taking in plenty of oxygen to fuel a body in motion. Building up sexual excitement and pumping blood into your genitals means breathing fully, especially when close to orgasm. There are many different breathing patterns. The most basic method is simply taking air in through your nose and exhaling out your mouth while making sounds of pleasure.
5. Pelvic Movement
Experiment with different rhythms as you masturbate to music. Sex is the dance of love so move your body, tensing and releasing different muscles, circling the hips, and thrusting with small motions or full pelvic swings. Gentle pelvic rocking can be perpetual motion throughout a selfloving session. Right after orgasm, your body naturally trembles and snaps with the after shocks and waves of pleasure.
6. Clitoral Stimulation
Using plenty of lubrication, start off with manual clitoral stimulation and then move onto the electric vibrator which is the strongest form of stimulation. To last longer, use a washcloth over your clitoris to cushion the vibes. Vary the rhythm and the pressure on your clitoris, keeping a light touch until the very end just before climaxing. When you have sex with your partner, bring your vibrator for a threesome.
7. Combining All Elements with Sexual Fantasy
Slow penetration, rhythmically squeezing the PC muscle, rocking the pelvis, and breathing out loud while using some form of clitoral stimulation will be different for each individual. Exploring your mind for erotic images, hot memories, or making up sexy stories heightens selfloving. Remember, variety and diversity spice up everyone's sexlife.
The strong, consistent stimulation from these massage machines can make up for years of sensory deprivation. The general fear about using a vibrator is not being able to have "normal sex" whatever that means. I urge women to let go of their romantic notions about getting every orgasms from a lover, and I urge men to let go of proving their good in bed by giving a woman her orgasm. Instead, couples can bring a variety of sextoys into the bedroom. They'll have a lot more fun as sex becomes more playful. (Betty Dobson)
1. Genital Massage
Maintain an ongoing visual relationship with your genitals, and begin some selfloving sessions in front of a free standing mirror. Trimming and shaping your pubic hair can give you a heightened awareness and appreciation of your genitals. Oil and massage the entire area, pull back the hood to expose your clitoris. Then, spread your inner and outer labia, and admire the beauty and design of your vulva.
2. Using the PC Muscle
The PC or Pubococcygeus muscle goes around the anus, across the entire pelvic floor, and attaches in front to the pubic bone on both women and men. To locate this muscle, simply stop the flow of urine. A weak PC muscle will result in urinary incontinence. To keep your PC muscle toned, consciously squeeze and release it during masturbation and partnersex to intensify each orgasm. These contractions can be felt in the anus, vagina, clitoris, and penis.
3. Vaginal Penetration
I feel it's important to do some form of regular penetration to aerate the vaginal barrel, stimulate lubrication, and to moisturize the vaginal interior with natural cold pressed oils. Although I'm not motivated to learn how to ejaculate, I love squeezing my PC muscle on a dildo especially when I put pressure on my urethral sponge, or Female Prostate Gland. I prefer these names over G-Spot because they're less confusing.
4. Breathing
Like any other athletic activity, achieving orgasm requires taking in plenty of oxygen to fuel a body in motion. Building up sexual excitement and pumping blood into your genitals means breathing fully, especially when close to orgasm. There are many different breathing patterns. The most basic method is simply taking air in through your nose and exhaling out your mouth while making sounds of pleasure.
5. Pelvic Movement
Experiment with different rhythms as you masturbate to music. Sex is the dance of love so move your body, tensing and releasing different muscles, circling the hips, and thrusting with small motions or full pelvic swings. Gentle pelvic rocking can be perpetual motion throughout a selfloving session. Right after orgasm, your body naturally trembles and snaps with the after shocks and waves of pleasure.
6. Clitoral Stimulation
Using plenty of lubrication, start off with manual clitoral stimulation and then move onto the electric vibrator which is the strongest form of stimulation. To last longer, use a washcloth over your clitoris to cushion the vibes. Vary the rhythm and the pressure on your clitoris, keeping a light touch until the very end just before climaxing. When you have sex with your partner, bring your vibrator for a threesome.
7. Combining All Elements with Sexual Fantasy
Slow penetration, rhythmically squeezing the PC muscle, rocking the pelvis, and breathing out loud while using some form of clitoral stimulation will be different for each individual. Exploring your mind for erotic images, hot memories, or making up sexy stories heightens selfloving. Remember, variety and diversity spice up everyone's sexlife.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Ten Keys to Happiness
Deepak Chopra
Physical well being is inseparable from emotional well being. Happy people are healthy people.The wisdom traditions of the world tell us that happiness does not depend on what you have, but on who you are. As we begin the New Year, it may be worthwhile to reflect on what really creates happiness in us.
The following ten keys may give us some insight.
1. Listen to your body's wisdom, which expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body,How do you feel about this? If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress,watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed.
2. Live in the present, for it is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you canappreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go. The present is as it should be. It reflects infinite laws of Nature that have brought you this exact thought, this exact physical response. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don't struggle against the infinit scheme of things; instead, be at one with it.
3. Take time to be silent, to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue. In moments of silence, realize that you are recontacting your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner life so that you can be guided by intuition rather than externally imposed interpretations of what is or isn't good for you.
4. Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization.
5. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with the flow of the universe.
6. Know that the world 'out there' reflects your reality 'in here.' The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.
7. Shed the burden of judgment and you will feel much lighter. Judgment imposes right and wrong on situations that just are. Everything can be understood and forgiven, but when you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Remember that every person you forgive adds to your self-love.
8. Don't contaminate your body with toxins, either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell directly contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.
9. Replace fear-motivated behavior with love-motivated behavior. Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside you, you can face any threat because your inner strength is invulnerable to fear.
10. Understand that the physical world is just a mirror of a deeper intelligence. Intelligence is the invisible organizer of all matter and energy, and since a portion of this intelligence resides in you, you share in the organizing power of the cosmos. Because you are inseparably linked to everything, you cannot afford to foul the planet's air and water. But at a deeper level, you cannot afford to live with a toxic mind, because every thought makes an impression on the whole field of intelligence. Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the Earth.
Deepak Chopra
Physical well being is inseparable from emotional well being. Happy people are healthy people.The wisdom traditions of the world tell us that happiness does not depend on what you have, but on who you are. As we begin the New Year, it may be worthwhile to reflect on what really creates happiness in us.
The following ten keys may give us some insight.
1. Listen to your body's wisdom, which expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body,How do you feel about this? If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress,watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed.
2. Live in the present, for it is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you canappreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go. The present is as it should be. It reflects infinite laws of Nature that have brought you this exact thought, this exact physical response. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don't struggle against the infinit scheme of things; instead, be at one with it.
3. Take time to be silent, to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue. In moments of silence, realize that you are recontacting your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner life so that you can be guided by intuition rather than externally imposed interpretations of what is or isn't good for you.
4. Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization.
5. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with the flow of the universe.
6. Know that the world 'out there' reflects your reality 'in here.' The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.
7. Shed the burden of judgment and you will feel much lighter. Judgment imposes right and wrong on situations that just are. Everything can be understood and forgiven, but when you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Remember that every person you forgive adds to your self-love.
8. Don't contaminate your body with toxins, either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell directly contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.
9. Replace fear-motivated behavior with love-motivated behavior. Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside you, you can face any threat because your inner strength is invulnerable to fear.
10. Understand that the physical world is just a mirror of a deeper intelligence. Intelligence is the invisible organizer of all matter and energy, and since a portion of this intelligence resides in you, you share in the organizing power of the cosmos. Because you are inseparably linked to everything, you cannot afford to foul the planet's air and water. But at a deeper level, you cannot afford to live with a toxic mind, because every thought makes an impression on the whole field of intelligence. Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the Earth.
Friday, February 2, 2007
tissue?
Women Vs. Public Restroom.
Questions are answered. Now men will know...
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women,so you smile politely and take your place.Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stallis occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the womanleaving the stall.You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter.The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, nodoubt) is handy, but empty.
You would hang your purse on the door hook, ifthere were one, but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly drape itaround your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on theFLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seator lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discoverto be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear yourmother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you wouldhave KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday the onethat's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in thepuffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The doorhits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest,and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet."Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious,tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footingaltogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet ofcourse.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom hasmade contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seatbecause YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even ifyou had taken time to try.You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because,you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because,frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confusedthat it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose that somehowsucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paperdispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up.You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You'rexhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket andthen slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors,so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past theline of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely tothem.A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet papertrailing from your shoe. ( Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here,you just might need this."As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and leftthe men's restroom.
Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom(rest??? you've got to be kidding!!).
It finally explains to the men whatreally does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly askedquestion about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other galcan hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under thedoor.So now you know. :'(
Questions are answered. Now men will know...
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women,so you smile politely and take your place.Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stallis occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the womanleaving the stall.You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter.The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, nodoubt) is handy, but empty.
You would hang your purse on the door hook, ifthere were one, but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly drape itaround your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on theFLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seator lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discoverto be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear yourmother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you wouldhave KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday the onethat's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in thepuffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The doorhits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest,and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet."Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious,tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footingaltogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet ofcourse.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom hasmade contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seatbecause YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even ifyou had taken time to try.You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because,you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because,frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confusedthat it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose that somehowsucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paperdispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up.You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You'rexhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket andthen slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors,so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past theline of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely tothem.A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet papertrailing from your shoe. ( Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here,you just might need this."As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and leftthe men's restroom.
Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom(rest??? you've got to be kidding!!).
It finally explains to the men whatreally does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly askedquestion about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other galcan hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under thedoor.So now you know. :'(
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
weird sex laws
Here are some of the weirdest sex laws from around the world that will make your toes curl!
* The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Anything other than face-to-face is considered illegal.
* In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
* There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
* Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
* In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
* In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass a law?)
* In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
* In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
* In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
* No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
* Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
* Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
* The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
* A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
* It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
* In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has curtains to stop strangers from peeking in. * A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
* In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it's against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
* You're forbidden from talking dirty in your wife's ear if you live in Willowdale, Oregon.
* Fairbanks, Alaska has a law on the books saying that it's illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
* Not to be outdone, Kingsville, Texas forbids pigs from having sex on Kingsville airport property.
* In Krakow, Poland it's not only a crime to have sex with animals, but three-time offenders are shot in the head.
* It's a sin and a crime to have sex with any male animal in Lebanon. However, it's perfectly okay to have sex with female animals.
* In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
* The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Anything other than face-to-face is considered illegal.
* In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
* There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
* Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
* In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
* In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass a law?)
* In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
* In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
* In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
* No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
* Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
* Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
* The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
* A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
* It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
* In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has curtains to stop strangers from peeking in. * A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
* In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it's against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
* You're forbidden from talking dirty in your wife's ear if you live in Willowdale, Oregon.
* Fairbanks, Alaska has a law on the books saying that it's illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
* Not to be outdone, Kingsville, Texas forbids pigs from having sex on Kingsville airport property.
* In Krakow, Poland it's not only a crime to have sex with animals, but three-time offenders are shot in the head.
* It's a sin and a crime to have sex with any male animal in Lebanon. However, it's perfectly okay to have sex with female animals.
* In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Power of the mind
The brain is our most important sexual organ. If it's not happening between the ears, it's not happening down below.
The sexual response is one of the human body's most fragile systems. The slightest negative emotion, woe, or stress can shut it off (as can a few drinks too many!). Most people don't realise that our brain is the essential element that keeps our sexual bodies humming.
Our sexual brain is not only 'on' when we are turned on during the middle of bed-sheet ruffling loveplay; it is constantly processing stimulants and desires - including when we sleep. Our fantasies and dreams can occur both consciously (we can conjure them up to suit a particular mood, or enhance a sexual situation) and unconsciously in our dreams. In fact, sexual symbols in dreams include: snakes, tigers, horses, birds, cats, deserts, oceans, and forests.
We fantasise about thousands of different images for erotic stimulation. Men and women are imaginative, creative creatures and our fantasy sex life is often more varied than our 'real' sex life. We can fantasise about having sex with people, and in ways, we would never wish to in our 'real' lives, and this is not only common, but healthy. Fantasies are a healthy expression of our desires and feelings, but most fantasies are not meant for actual enactment. Female fantasies tend to focus on personal partners, and people women know. It is very common for women to fantasise about other women, but this does not automatically mean a woman is gay or bisexual. In fact, lesbians can fantasise about men, and this does not mean they have suddenly turned heterosexual!.
Most female fantasies are heavy on the sensual, and on desire and lust, while light on violence. However, a great many women have fantasies about dominance and control. Being raped is a frequent female fantasy. It *never* means a woman desires to be raped. Rape fantasies are more commonly about wanting to feel unbridled passion and lust, to feel dominated and out of control. Fantasies are a liberating and creative way for us to express our complex sexuality.
Most subjects - whether it is making love with the woman across the road, or off the silver screen – are not reliable signs of what we would actually like to do in our 'real' lives. They are sexual charges; sparks to keep our passions burning. So whether you get your sexual rush from fantasising about the guy in the Diet Coke ad, or Drew Barrymore, you're a normal hot-blooded woman.
The sexual response is one of the human body's most fragile systems. The slightest negative emotion, woe, or stress can shut it off (as can a few drinks too many!). Most people don't realise that our brain is the essential element that keeps our sexual bodies humming.
Our sexual brain is not only 'on' when we are turned on during the middle of bed-sheet ruffling loveplay; it is constantly processing stimulants and desires - including when we sleep. Our fantasies and dreams can occur both consciously (we can conjure them up to suit a particular mood, or enhance a sexual situation) and unconsciously in our dreams. In fact, sexual symbols in dreams include: snakes, tigers, horses, birds, cats, deserts, oceans, and forests.
We fantasise about thousands of different images for erotic stimulation. Men and women are imaginative, creative creatures and our fantasy sex life is often more varied than our 'real' sex life. We can fantasise about having sex with people, and in ways, we would never wish to in our 'real' lives, and this is not only common, but healthy. Fantasies are a healthy expression of our desires and feelings, but most fantasies are not meant for actual enactment. Female fantasies tend to focus on personal partners, and people women know. It is very common for women to fantasise about other women, but this does not automatically mean a woman is gay or bisexual. In fact, lesbians can fantasise about men, and this does not mean they have suddenly turned heterosexual!.
Most female fantasies are heavy on the sensual, and on desire and lust, while light on violence. However, a great many women have fantasies about dominance and control. Being raped is a frequent female fantasy. It *never* means a woman desires to be raped. Rape fantasies are more commonly about wanting to feel unbridled passion and lust, to feel dominated and out of control. Fantasies are a liberating and creative way for us to express our complex sexuality.
Most subjects - whether it is making love with the woman across the road, or off the silver screen – are not reliable signs of what we would actually like to do in our 'real' lives. They are sexual charges; sparks to keep our passions burning. So whether you get your sexual rush from fantasising about the guy in the Diet Coke ad, or Drew Barrymore, you're a normal hot-blooded woman.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
CRASH and sperm
NEW YORK, NY – Cars and utility vehicles equipped with DVD players and televisions may be a saving grace for parents on long road trips, but in some cases, the temptation to watch porn while sitting in traffic is just too much for many drivers, according to police.
This week a Schenectady man was arrested for watching a porn film while driving, and an Alaska man who was watching porn while driving stands trial in the coming months for a fatal accident that resulted.
In Canada, a Toronto man was arrested for watching child porn while driving in a residential neighborhood, naked from the waist down, using a hijacked Wi-Fi Internet connection, and in Flint, Michigan, lawmakers have encountered so many porn-while-driving cases that the Flint City Council has decided to take action.
As various incidents continue to pop up nationwide, some police authorities believe the problem is only just beginning as mobile technology increasingly enables people to transport their private lifestyles into the public sector.
Lawmakers in certain states are even considering drafting city ordinances that would ban watching adult entertainment in a moving vehicle.
The arrest of 35-year-old Andre Gainey is the most recent arrest to take place that involves porn in cars, and while it is so far illegal to have sex in cars, according to police, there is currently no law that makes watching porn in moving vehicles unlawful.
According to a report from Ananova, Gainey's Mercedes was first spotted by a police officer driving past the Schenectady Police Station. The police officer reported that he was clearly able to see porn from the rear of Gainey's car on the DVD player.
According to Ananova, Gainey was arrested under a state law that prohibits offensive material to be publicly displayed and made visible to others. He is currently being held without bail with additional charges pending that include driving with a suspended license and watching a film while driving.
"It could've been a family that was behind him," the officer stated in his report. "Someone walking by would have easily seen this because the windows weren't tinted at all."
According to a Michigan City Council member, the problem with porn in cars has decreased during the winter, but the problem is expected to heat up once the summer months come around.
This week a Schenectady man was arrested for watching a porn film while driving, and an Alaska man who was watching porn while driving stands trial in the coming months for a fatal accident that resulted.
In Canada, a Toronto man was arrested for watching child porn while driving in a residential neighborhood, naked from the waist down, using a hijacked Wi-Fi Internet connection, and in Flint, Michigan, lawmakers have encountered so many porn-while-driving cases that the Flint City Council has decided to take action.
As various incidents continue to pop up nationwide, some police authorities believe the problem is only just beginning as mobile technology increasingly enables people to transport their private lifestyles into the public sector.
Lawmakers in certain states are even considering drafting city ordinances that would ban watching adult entertainment in a moving vehicle.
The arrest of 35-year-old Andre Gainey is the most recent arrest to take place that involves porn in cars, and while it is so far illegal to have sex in cars, according to police, there is currently no law that makes watching porn in moving vehicles unlawful.
According to a report from Ananova, Gainey's Mercedes was first spotted by a police officer driving past the Schenectady Police Station. The police officer reported that he was clearly able to see porn from the rear of Gainey's car on the DVD player.
According to Ananova, Gainey was arrested under a state law that prohibits offensive material to be publicly displayed and made visible to others. He is currently being held without bail with additional charges pending that include driving with a suspended license and watching a film while driving.
"It could've been a family that was behind him," the officer stated in his report. "Someone walking by would have easily seen this because the windows weren't tinted at all."
According to a Michigan City Council member, the problem with porn in cars has decreased during the winter, but the problem is expected to heat up once the summer months come around.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Stats
The study by Today's Christian Woman found that even good church-going women were peeking at the odd bit of porn. Over 34 percent of female respondents to an online survey said they had deliberately gone looking for porn.
Research by scientists at Stanford Medical University in California in December 2003 found that women become more quickly aroused by porn videos than men.
In late 2003, Neilsen Netratings revealed that 1 in 3 users of porn were women. Over 9 million American women accessed adult sites in September 2003 alone. According to Internet Filter Review, 13% of women are accessing porn at work.
In the past five years, the number of female directors of porn video and film has increased from a handful to 30, compared to about 200 male porn directors. (Mercury News 9.5.03)
As of 2003, only 4% of today's (non-erotic, Hollywood) films are directed by women. (BUST winter .03)
In 2002, over eight million adult videos and DVD were rented in America. 30% of those rentals went to women and "couples." (Adult Video News 1.03)
In women-friendly boutiques such as Good Vibrations, women make up 80% of the porn rental and purchase market (2003). These figures are never included in mainstream journal statisitcs (such as AVN).
In a 1987 Redbook survey of over 26,000 female respondents, nearly half stated that they regularly used porn.
In the 1996 book Defending Pornography by ACLU president Nadine Strossen, "Women, either singly or as part of a couple, constitute more than 40 percent of the adult videotape rental audience. . ."
Research by scientists at Stanford Medical University in California in December 2003 found that women become more quickly aroused by porn videos than men.
In late 2003, Neilsen Netratings revealed that 1 in 3 users of porn were women. Over 9 million American women accessed adult sites in September 2003 alone. According to Internet Filter Review, 13% of women are accessing porn at work.
In the past five years, the number of female directors of porn video and film has increased from a handful to 30, compared to about 200 male porn directors. (Mercury News 9.5.03)
As of 2003, only 4% of today's (non-erotic, Hollywood) films are directed by women. (BUST winter .03)
In 2002, over eight million adult videos and DVD were rented in America. 30% of those rentals went to women and "couples." (Adult Video News 1.03)
In women-friendly boutiques such as Good Vibrations, women make up 80% of the porn rental and purchase market (2003). These figures are never included in mainstream journal statisitcs (such as AVN).
In a 1987 Redbook survey of over 26,000 female respondents, nearly half stated that they regularly used porn.
In the 1996 book Defending Pornography by ACLU president Nadine Strossen, "Women, either singly or as part of a couple, constitute more than 40 percent of the adult videotape rental audience. . ."
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The messages we receive about sex from our parents, the media, and our educational, social, and religious institutions tend to be contradictory, and often downright false. One way to combat the lies we’re told about sex is to start cataloguing them. Below is a very incomplete list of some of the biggest lies we’re told about sex.
Sex is genetic: it’s the puppet-master and we’re lucky to be getting our strings pulled now and then.Because procreation is tied to our species survival, evolutionary scientists and pop psychologists alike argue that the most important understanding of sexuality is the one that links our sexual behavior to procreation. Thus we are told that male sexuality is voracious and dangerous, that female sexuality is a side effect of the need for women to have babies, and that the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of sexuality are not as important as the genetic ones.
zSB(3,3)
Take our on-line assessment and find out.www.womentowomen.comThere is clearly a genetic component to sex, but that doesn’t mean that this is either the most useful, or “truest” perspective from which to think about our sexuality.
Sex is natural and simple: you should just know how to do it.Sex is natural, we’re told, because we have to do it to survive. But this doesn’t accurately describe what human sexuality has become. Intercourse may be instinctual for some (but clearly not all) of us, but sexuality is much more than intercourse, and none of it actually comes easily. It’s it strange that we are taught how to perform most other basic human behaviors (how to eat, how to communicate, how to go to the bathroom) and as we get older we learn the more complicated ones (how to read, write, drive a car, work) and yet we’re just supposed to know how to have sex.
Sex is gender: men are from sex crazed mars women are from soft and romantic venus.This lie takes many forms:
Women just want to cuddle, men want to have raunchy sex.
Women are sexual communicators, men can’t talk about their sexual feelings.
”Real sex” takes place between a man and a woman.
Men and women can’t ever be friends, sex always gets in the way.
Men want sex all the time, and women don’t.
Men are more visual than women when it comes to sexual arousal. All of these are variations on the big double-shot sex lie; that sex is 100 percent tied to our gender, and we are all only one gender. The fact is that how we think about, feel about, and actually have sex is infinitely more complicated than which door we walk through in a public washroom.
Sex is spontaneous: don’t talk about it, just do it.When you think of it, this lie about sex doesn’t make any sense. If sex is meant to be something fun and exciting, something that makes you feel good about your body and yourself, makes you feel loved and attended to, why would planning for sex ever be a bad thing? Wouldn’t it actually be nice to know you’re going to get to have sex at the end of a particularly hard day? Yet we’re told that the most exciting sex is the sex that “just happens”. In reality sex rarely “just happens”. It’s true that many couples never talk about sex beforehand, but that doesn’t mean that one (or more likely both) partners aren’t thinking about it, wondering when they’re going to have it next, and fantasizing about what kind of sex it will be.
Bigger is better, more is better…better is better.These statements are true for some people, some of the time. The specific lie we’re told is that these things are true for everyone, all of the time. In reality people have size preferences that change depending on their mood and what sort of sex they want to have. Similarly, we all have different levels of sexual desire, and these levels can change throughout the month, and over the years. Finally, there is a more contemporary lie that tells us we should always be reaching for better sex, trying new things, pushing ourselves and our partners to attain new heights of great sex. Some researchers have pointed out that this competitive attitude can have the opposite effect, making us anxious and on edge about the sex we’re having.
Sex is genetic: it’s the puppet-master and we’re lucky to be getting our strings pulled now and then.Because procreation is tied to our species survival, evolutionary scientists and pop psychologists alike argue that the most important understanding of sexuality is the one that links our sexual behavior to procreation. Thus we are told that male sexuality is voracious and dangerous, that female sexuality is a side effect of the need for women to have babies, and that the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of sexuality are not as important as the genetic ones.
zSB(3,3)
Take our on-line assessment and find out.www.womentowomen.comThere is clearly a genetic component to sex, but that doesn’t mean that this is either the most useful, or “truest” perspective from which to think about our sexuality.
Sex is natural and simple: you should just know how to do it.Sex is natural, we’re told, because we have to do it to survive. But this doesn’t accurately describe what human sexuality has become. Intercourse may be instinctual for some (but clearly not all) of us, but sexuality is much more than intercourse, and none of it actually comes easily. It’s it strange that we are taught how to perform most other basic human behaviors (how to eat, how to communicate, how to go to the bathroom) and as we get older we learn the more complicated ones (how to read, write, drive a car, work) and yet we’re just supposed to know how to have sex.
Sex is gender: men are from sex crazed mars women are from soft and romantic venus.This lie takes many forms:
Women just want to cuddle, men want to have raunchy sex.
Women are sexual communicators, men can’t talk about their sexual feelings.
”Real sex” takes place between a man and a woman.
Men and women can’t ever be friends, sex always gets in the way.
Men want sex all the time, and women don’t.
Men are more visual than women when it comes to sexual arousal. All of these are variations on the big double-shot sex lie; that sex is 100 percent tied to our gender, and we are all only one gender. The fact is that how we think about, feel about, and actually have sex is infinitely more complicated than which door we walk through in a public washroom.
Sex is spontaneous: don’t talk about it, just do it.When you think of it, this lie about sex doesn’t make any sense. If sex is meant to be something fun and exciting, something that makes you feel good about your body and yourself, makes you feel loved and attended to, why would planning for sex ever be a bad thing? Wouldn’t it actually be nice to know you’re going to get to have sex at the end of a particularly hard day? Yet we’re told that the most exciting sex is the sex that “just happens”. In reality sex rarely “just happens”. It’s true that many couples never talk about sex beforehand, but that doesn’t mean that one (or more likely both) partners aren’t thinking about it, wondering when they’re going to have it next, and fantasizing about what kind of sex it will be.
Bigger is better, more is better…better is better.These statements are true for some people, some of the time. The specific lie we’re told is that these things are true for everyone, all of the time. In reality people have size preferences that change depending on their mood and what sort of sex they want to have. Similarly, we all have different levels of sexual desire, and these levels can change throughout the month, and over the years. Finally, there is a more contemporary lie that tells us we should always be reaching for better sex, trying new things, pushing ourselves and our partners to attain new heights of great sex. Some researchers have pointed out that this competitive attitude can have the opposite effect, making us anxious and on edge about the sex we’re having.
questions
Top Ten Sex Questions of 2006
What are people really thinking about sex? When they can ask sex questions and get answers with anonymity, what do they really want to know?
Taking the sexual pulse of any society is near impossible. How can we distinguish media hype from actual experience when so few people talk openly and honestly about their sex lives, and even fewer people in power want to hear about it?
One small window for me into the world of the over 29 million of you who visit About.com each month is when I look at the traffic in the sex question and answer section on this site, where people write in their questions, and many more read the questions and answers I publish. Looking over this years most popular topics, I was not surprised to find penis size questions take up two spots. But I was pleasantly surprised at the breadth of topics most people were interested. From anatomy to technique, and from safer sex to sexual pleasure, considered as a whole, these top ten questions give me plenty of hope for the state of sexual inquiries in 2007.
1. How do I find my PC Muscle?
2. Can you alter the taste of your vagina?
3. Does penis size matter?
4. Is oral sex risky?
5. What is average penis size?
6. Why does sex hurt?
7. Can men have multiple orgasms?
8. Where is my g spot?
9. What are toxic sex toys?
10. Is watching porn okay?
Got a sex question for 2007? Email me here and I’ll do my best to answer it or point you to someone who can.
What are people really thinking about sex? When they can ask sex questions and get answers with anonymity, what do they really want to know?
Taking the sexual pulse of any society is near impossible. How can we distinguish media hype from actual experience when so few people talk openly and honestly about their sex lives, and even fewer people in power want to hear about it?
One small window for me into the world of the over 29 million of you who visit About.com each month is when I look at the traffic in the sex question and answer section on this site, where people write in their questions, and many more read the questions and answers I publish. Looking over this years most popular topics, I was not surprised to find penis size questions take up two spots. But I was pleasantly surprised at the breadth of topics most people were interested. From anatomy to technique, and from safer sex to sexual pleasure, considered as a whole, these top ten questions give me plenty of hope for the state of sexual inquiries in 2007.
1. How do I find my PC Muscle?
2. Can you alter the taste of your vagina?
3. Does penis size matter?
4. Is oral sex risky?
5. What is average penis size?
6. Why does sex hurt?
7. Can men have multiple orgasms?
8. Where is my g spot?
9. What are toxic sex toys?
10. Is watching porn okay?
Got a sex question for 2007? Email me here and I’ll do my best to answer it or point you to someone who can.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Orgasm
Orgasm could be defined as the peak of the sexual arousal, leading to a sensation of extreme pleasure. Flexed muscles get relaxed, sweat pours out, heart rate speeds up and breathing breaks into panting. Those are the things you already know, or you should, so far.
The female orgasm as everything in the female sexuality is quite complex, and rather complex in comparison to the male sexuality.
There’s a lot to be addressed regarding the female orgasm and its attributes. Researchers, sexologists, feminists and women in general talk about the G Spot, female ejaculation, clitoral and vaginal orgasms, multiple orgasms and everything to do with the female sexuality. Most subjects don’t even have enough scientific evidence, but they can’t be simply overlooked, since needs may vary from woman to woman.
Most women complain about feeling unable to reach orgasm. It involves not only physical stimulation but also emotional and psychological features. There’s no such a thing as perfect recipe to reach orgasm, but we dish out a few tips to improve your sexuality.
As you know, women tend take longer to reach arousal. So, talk your partner in to spending more time on foreplay, so that you will get there along with him. Knowing your own body for showing your partner how you’d like to be stimulated is quintessential to maximize the female sexuality. This isn’t a simple matter of pushing on the right buttons on the right way, but to bring out the pleasure you long for, the way you yearn. Men usually get straight to the point (their pleasure that is), so the decision is yours to show your partner that sex is most pleasant when both lovers enjoy it without haste. A good rubbing, oral sex and mutual masturbation are some of the good appetizers to get things started.
Also, there are positions that may help you to reach orgasm swiftly. Positions where the woman gets on top of men, will allow a better clitoral stimulation, and therefore the penis to rub against the G spot, which is located two or three inches inside the vagina. That honey will drive you to roof.
However, nothing is going to work out if you don’t let yourself enjoy Sex at its best. Don’t worry whether reaching an orgasm or not. Don’t try to rush things up or do everything at once; take in your stride. Get to know your own body capabilities and limitations beforehand, then relax, show your partner who is in control, get in the right mood and forget any fanciful recipes. Simplicity remains one of the best ways to reach orgasm and enjoy your own sexuality.
The female orgasm as everything in the female sexuality is quite complex, and rather complex in comparison to the male sexuality.
There’s a lot to be addressed regarding the female orgasm and its attributes. Researchers, sexologists, feminists and women in general talk about the G Spot, female ejaculation, clitoral and vaginal orgasms, multiple orgasms and everything to do with the female sexuality. Most subjects don’t even have enough scientific evidence, but they can’t be simply overlooked, since needs may vary from woman to woman.
Most women complain about feeling unable to reach orgasm. It involves not only physical stimulation but also emotional and psychological features. There’s no such a thing as perfect recipe to reach orgasm, but we dish out a few tips to improve your sexuality.
As you know, women tend take longer to reach arousal. So, talk your partner in to spending more time on foreplay, so that you will get there along with him. Knowing your own body for showing your partner how you’d like to be stimulated is quintessential to maximize the female sexuality. This isn’t a simple matter of pushing on the right buttons on the right way, but to bring out the pleasure you long for, the way you yearn. Men usually get straight to the point (their pleasure that is), so the decision is yours to show your partner that sex is most pleasant when both lovers enjoy it without haste. A good rubbing, oral sex and mutual masturbation are some of the good appetizers to get things started.
Also, there are positions that may help you to reach orgasm swiftly. Positions where the woman gets on top of men, will allow a better clitoral stimulation, and therefore the penis to rub against the G spot, which is located two or three inches inside the vagina. That honey will drive you to roof.
However, nothing is going to work out if you don’t let yourself enjoy Sex at its best. Don’t worry whether reaching an orgasm or not. Don’t try to rush things up or do everything at once; take in your stride. Get to know your own body capabilities and limitations beforehand, then relax, show your partner who is in control, get in the right mood and forget any fanciful recipes. Simplicity remains one of the best ways to reach orgasm and enjoy your own sexuality.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Women tips
Here's a few things some women do wrong:
1) LAYING THERE AND TAKING ITSome women seem to think that once they are on their backs, it's nap time, and the man can do all the work. Men need to have a woman participate - find his rhythym and move along with him. Caress his arms and back and chest. Run your fingers through his hair (if he has any ). All these things make sex a mutual experience.
2) GOING STRAIGHT FOR THE GOODIESSome women seem to go straight from a little kissing right to the pants. Many times a guy is just getting warmed up, and is not ready to have his penis manhandled like a chunk of pasta dough. Work your way down to it, kiss his chest and stomach, stroke his ass and thighs. By the time you reach the goal, he'll be completely ready for you.
3) PLAYING WITH HIS NIPPLES TOO EARLYMost of us like to have our nipples played with, but some of us have very sensitive ones. It takes a certain level of arousal for them to be ready for fingers or tongues. Use your whole hand or palm at first, and massage broad circles on the chest, slowly working your way down to just the nipple, and make sure you are paying attention to his reactions. Too much stimulation too early can be painful for some guys.
4) BOUNCING AROUND TOO MUCH ON TOPWhen you are on top, please be careful! The penis is not designed to withstand 100 pounds slamming down on it at the wrong angle. I swear, I thought the thing was going to get broken in half one time! Stay in control - when in doubt, it's better to lean forward and slide back and forth. That puts less weight on it, and can sometimes provide more stimulation on the clit, if you find the right angle.
5) EXPECTING TOO MUCHSome women take longer to orgasm than others. Some can take a very long time. If it takes you the better part of an hour to have one with your vibrator, don't expect us to give you oral for that long or more. There's only so much the human jaw can take. There comes a certain point, for both men and women, when, if it's just not happening, it's better to take matters into your own hands and give your partner a break.
And now the disclaimer: many of these things are a matter of opinion, my opinion. Just like many of Lioness's items are her personal preferences. Men and women both have many different likes and dislikes - the most important thing is to be open and receptive to what your partner likes and doesn't like, and work together to have a mutually satisfying sexual experience.
1) LAYING THERE AND TAKING ITSome women seem to think that once they are on their backs, it's nap time, and the man can do all the work. Men need to have a woman participate - find his rhythym and move along with him. Caress his arms and back and chest. Run your fingers through his hair (if he has any ). All these things make sex a mutual experience.
2) GOING STRAIGHT FOR THE GOODIESSome women seem to go straight from a little kissing right to the pants. Many times a guy is just getting warmed up, and is not ready to have his penis manhandled like a chunk of pasta dough. Work your way down to it, kiss his chest and stomach, stroke his ass and thighs. By the time you reach the goal, he'll be completely ready for you.
3) PLAYING WITH HIS NIPPLES TOO EARLYMost of us like to have our nipples played with, but some of us have very sensitive ones. It takes a certain level of arousal for them to be ready for fingers or tongues. Use your whole hand or palm at first, and massage broad circles on the chest, slowly working your way down to just the nipple, and make sure you are paying attention to his reactions. Too much stimulation too early can be painful for some guys.
4) BOUNCING AROUND TOO MUCH ON TOPWhen you are on top, please be careful! The penis is not designed to withstand 100 pounds slamming down on it at the wrong angle. I swear, I thought the thing was going to get broken in half one time! Stay in control - when in doubt, it's better to lean forward and slide back and forth. That puts less weight on it, and can sometimes provide more stimulation on the clit, if you find the right angle.
5) EXPECTING TOO MUCHSome women take longer to orgasm than others. Some can take a very long time. If it takes you the better part of an hour to have one with your vibrator, don't expect us to give you oral for that long or more. There's only so much the human jaw can take. There comes a certain point, for both men and women, when, if it's just not happening, it's better to take matters into your own hands and give your partner a break.
And now the disclaimer: many of these things are a matter of opinion, my opinion. Just like many of Lioness's items are her personal preferences. Men and women both have many different likes and dislikes - the most important thing is to be open and receptive to what your partner likes and doesn't like, and work together to have a mutually satisfying sexual experience.
Friday, January 12, 2007
A needle and thread???
Female Genital Piercing Information ~The concept behind female genital piercings (as with male genital piercings) is to enhance. Common placements as described below do NOT prevent sexual activities, but are meant to stimulate and arouse. These enhancements are also placed to call attention to the ornamented areas and foster beauty and appreciation. Unfortunately for us, our culture does not support genital pride! As a result, many of my female clients do not even know what the particulars of their private parts are called. Many women come to see me for genital piercings requesting “a clit piercing.” When they are shown a photograph of where that is located they shout, “Oh, NO! Not there!” Sometimes they mean inner or outer labia, other times they desire a clitoral hood piercing. Contrary to what most of the uninitiated would think, genital piercing is NOT particularly painful (at least if I do it for you). The idea may be scary or strange to some, but the physical reality is brief and relatively or virtually painless. Many piercees often favorably compare genital placements to the ear lobe piercing. The notable exception would be the serious and very rare actual clitoris piercing. This is NOT about pain and suppression; this is about pleasure, and stimulation, and celebrating the body. Though, naturally, during healing one must engage in safer sex and avoid sharing bodily fluids. Even if you are in a monogamous relationship, latex barriers must be used, including for oral contact, during the entire initial healing.
Prince Albert is one the most sought after piercings. Men and women both find it appealing when pleasing their partner....
Hope you found this informative...as per your request Rach.
Personally, I'm not a pain kinda lady. I couldn't ever do it myself. But it's ok if my guy wants too, or already has it.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Wrong moves for men
41 Things Guys Do Wrong During Sex
1) Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
1 GOING TOO FAST.When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD.If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT SHAVING PT.2Men seem to like women to be shaved down below. That's fine. But women like that too. That doesn't mean you have to shave it bare (although, that would be nice), but at least keep it neat and trimmed. There's nothing that turns a girl off more than looking at a penis sticking out of a forest.
26) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
27) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just liethere. And don't grab her head.
28) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
29) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
30) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
31) TAKING PICTURES.When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
32) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
33) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
34) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
35) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
36) GIVING LOVE BITES.It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
37) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
3 TALKING DIRTY.It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.
39) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
40) SQUASHING HER.Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit tooheavily, she will turn blue.
41) THANKING HER.Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen
1) Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
1 GOING TOO FAST.When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD.If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT SHAVING PT.2Men seem to like women to be shaved down below. That's fine. But women like that too. That doesn't mean you have to shave it bare (although, that would be nice), but at least keep it neat and trimmed. There's nothing that turns a girl off more than looking at a penis sticking out of a forest.
26) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
27) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just liethere. And don't grab her head.
28) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
29) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
30) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
31) TAKING PICTURES.When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
32) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
33) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
34) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
35) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
36) GIVING LOVE BITES.It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
37) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
3 TALKING DIRTY.It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.
39) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
40) SQUASHING HER.Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit tooheavily, she will turn blue.
41) THANKING HER.Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
SPEAK UP
Guys can be so confused as what to do when it comes to sex and pleasing their partner. Ladies why do some of us hold out and NOT tell our partner or partners what feels good, what we like, what we are interested in doing or accomplishing??
See their frustration? I feel it.
Some flat out don't care, as long as they get to squirt, they're content. Well, what about us being content?
SPEAK UP...write it down in a letter and mail it to him at work, send him a text message or email if your bashful. Some guys really connect with the alone moment (most of them are so visual). They can picture and get aroused when they read this stuff alone or even if a friend is around, then they feel NAUGHTY. This NAUGHTY feeling can stay with them all day and they may want to please you FIRST!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Funky Spunk
What Does Semen Contain?
The caloric content of an average semen ejaculation is estimated to be approximately 15 calories. The average semen ejaculate contains:
aboutonia
ascorbic acid
blood-group antigens
calcium
chlorine
cholesterol
choline
citric acid
creatine
deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA)
fructose
glutathione
hyaluronidase
inositol
lactic acid
magnesium
nitrogen
phosphorus
potassium
purine
pyrimidine
pyruvic acid
sodium
sorbitol
spermidine
spermine
urea
uric acid
vitamin B12
zinc
Who knew they were full of so much??? Ok, a few of us knew they were full of themselves. But did we know they contained so much VITAMINS ?
Sorry but I still can't say it's nutrious and yummy. Maybe in future years we can add a flavoring they can drink before hand, and we get to pick the flavor.
Monday, January 8, 2007
OK, I see http://lovinmuzic.blogspot.com/2007/01/new.html told you about my *new* idea. Hope you find it informative and worth your read.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Tips for M* alone
We all know that for women, masturbation is not as simple as it is for men (at least not for every woman). It’s not simply like stroking and thrusting the penis in some surface to get in the climax in minutes. For women, it also involves her level of arousal, which depends on her mood, and most of all, and on the wealth of knowledge of her own body. There are several female masturbation tips that may help any woman to get in the climax faster and also to acquire new and stronger sensations while playing alone.
Female masturbation tips:
Get in the perfect mood before getting started to masturbate. It requires some free time to spare, but it’s one of the best female masturbation tips ever. If by the time you start to masturbate you could already be fully aroused, your sensations will be much more intense and your playing much more exciting.
Explore oneself is another important female masturbation tips. Try to reach some little parts of your genitals that you usually don’t touch. If needed, use a mirror. The only way by which you can get completely knowledge of your body is by exploring it like an actual map.
If you’re alone, free yourself. Don’t avoid making noises and moving. Move your hips and touch your breasts while masturbating, like you’re actually having sex. In other words: lose yourself.
One of the most fun female masturbation tips is using some kind of sexual toy. Don’t be shy and visit some sex shop to search for some toy designed specific for masturbation. There are little devices that will let you surprised with the results.
Female masturbation tips:
Get in the perfect mood before getting started to masturbate. It requires some free time to spare, but it’s one of the best female masturbation tips ever. If by the time you start to masturbate you could already be fully aroused, your sensations will be much more intense and your playing much more exciting.
Explore oneself is another important female masturbation tips. Try to reach some little parts of your genitals that you usually don’t touch. If needed, use a mirror. The only way by which you can get completely knowledge of your body is by exploring it like an actual map.
If you’re alone, free yourself. Don’t avoid making noises and moving. Move your hips and touch your breasts while masturbating, like you’re actually having sex. In other words: lose yourself.
One of the most fun female masturbation tips is using some kind of sexual toy. Don’t be shy and visit some sex shop to search for some toy designed specific for masturbation. There are little devices that will let you surprised with the results.
giving head
One of the first things you encounter when you first start to suck a penis is a gag reflex. Most men seem to want to force their penis down your throat as far as they can get it. Particularly at the moment when they cum!
Consider for a moment that the average length of your oral cavity is three to three and a half inches while the average Caucasian penis length is five to five and a half inches. The laws of nature would seem to dictate that getting all that penis into your mouth is an impossibility. However - It can be done!
If you understand your anatomy you will begin to understand the requirements that allow you to take his hard penis into your mouth and down your throat. The biggest obstacle to taking his entire penis down your throat is the fact that there is a bend of almost ninety degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat. So the first thing to do is get the penis past that angle.
In order to practice this, get in a position where you can turn your head in such a way that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line. The best position to accomplish this is to lie on a bed so that your head is near the edge with your body sprawled across the bed so that your head is tipped sharply back. This position will put your mouth and throat nearly in a line and will allow your partner to approach you in such a way that insertion of his penis can be made so deeply that his pubic hair presses against your lips. The natural tendency of the body is to gag when a foreign object such as a deeply thrusting penis is being forced down your throat. You can overcome this tendency by completely relaxing your throat at the moment the insertion is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation during the entire deep throating attempt.
Let him put his penis down your throat and hold it still while you find the most comfortable way to proceed. Because of your position you will not be able to move or to offer him any greater stimulation than simply keeping your mouth tightly closed around his throbbing penis. You will only be able to relax and take his penis in this way if you completely trust your partner. Your partner is in full control. He must initiate and maintain all the motion. This is the only exercise in which you relinquish your control of the situation to your partner. He will relish this for the simple fact that for the first time he can insert his penis as deeply down your throat as he wants to.
Now your partner begins an in and out movement that is just like fucking. He should start slowly, especially if this is a completely new experience for the two of you. After all, if he hurts you he cuts himself off from one of the great pleasures in life. His only other requirement during this exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction throughout this oral exercise, as there is simply no leeway for him to vary the motion from side to side.
One other word of caution. Don't let your partner get carried away at the moment he starts to cum. At that spectacular moment he will be able for the first time to thrust his penis all the way inside your oral cavity and that is the most important lesson of this exercise! His only other requirement during the exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction against your lips as he cums. Because of your position in bed you will not be faced with the problem of swallowing his cum. The reason is because he has gotten his penis BEYOND your gag reflex! So the good news - his cum will shoot directly into your stomach!
If both you and your partner understand what it is that you are trying to do, as well as the possible problems that may come up along the way, no harm or discomfort will happen to either of you.
Consider for a moment that the average length of your oral cavity is three to three and a half inches while the average Caucasian penis length is five to five and a half inches. The laws of nature would seem to dictate that getting all that penis into your mouth is an impossibility. However - It can be done!
If you understand your anatomy you will begin to understand the requirements that allow you to take his hard penis into your mouth and down your throat. The biggest obstacle to taking his entire penis down your throat is the fact that there is a bend of almost ninety degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat. So the first thing to do is get the penis past that angle.
In order to practice this, get in a position where you can turn your head in such a way that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line. The best position to accomplish this is to lie on a bed so that your head is near the edge with your body sprawled across the bed so that your head is tipped sharply back. This position will put your mouth and throat nearly in a line and will allow your partner to approach you in such a way that insertion of his penis can be made so deeply that his pubic hair presses against your lips. The natural tendency of the body is to gag when a foreign object such as a deeply thrusting penis is being forced down your throat. You can overcome this tendency by completely relaxing your throat at the moment the insertion is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation during the entire deep throating attempt.
Let him put his penis down your throat and hold it still while you find the most comfortable way to proceed. Because of your position you will not be able to move or to offer him any greater stimulation than simply keeping your mouth tightly closed around his throbbing penis. You will only be able to relax and take his penis in this way if you completely trust your partner. Your partner is in full control. He must initiate and maintain all the motion. This is the only exercise in which you relinquish your control of the situation to your partner. He will relish this for the simple fact that for the first time he can insert his penis as deeply down your throat as he wants to.
Now your partner begins an in and out movement that is just like fucking. He should start slowly, especially if this is a completely new experience for the two of you. After all, if he hurts you he cuts himself off from one of the great pleasures in life. His only other requirement during this exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction throughout this oral exercise, as there is simply no leeway for him to vary the motion from side to side.
One other word of caution. Don't let your partner get carried away at the moment he starts to cum. At that spectacular moment he will be able for the first time to thrust his penis all the way inside your oral cavity and that is the most important lesson of this exercise! His only other requirement during the exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction against your lips as he cums. Because of your position in bed you will not be faced with the problem of swallowing his cum. The reason is because he has gotten his penis BEYOND your gag reflex! So the good news - his cum will shoot directly into your stomach!
If both you and your partner understand what it is that you are trying to do, as well as the possible problems that may come up along the way, no harm or discomfort will happen to either of you.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:113033
It is possible that not everyone will learn the "deep throat" technique, but this inability does not make you any less a penissucker. You must allow your throat to relax completely while your partner is thrusting his penis this deeply down your throat. To do this long enough for your partner to completely get it off is very difficult and may require lots of practice.
It may be that you will be able to take your partner completely down your throat, but you will not be able to maintain proper relaxation of your throat until he shoots his load. Hopefully your partner will understand that this is not a rejection of him or of what he is offering you, and hopefully you do not stop here and think that you will never master the "deep throat" technique. Keep trying and communicate with each other. Practice makes perfect and it will be worth it!
My name is Ann
Masturbation Poems
The thought makes my heart rate get higher and higher.I would never put my hand there... you liar, you liar.
With all of the tension and fluids deep down within,Rock hard, up, and bored, once again I begin.
Imagine all the sweet girls I wish I could bring home.Imagine my friend on himself, alone on his own.
Fast cars, lots of money, and a long passionate kiss,Skydiving, mountain climbing, and all the cool tricks.
What do I care if I should go blind?I have to let out what's in my mind.
From my personal rhythm, the eruption I seek.I feel like I'm laying in between satin sheets.
All over my body everything's getting tight.The beat's getting violent like some kind of fight.
Spasmodic, erotic,Coming to the crest of the hill.I just cant quit, I don't have the will.
Approaching, Approaching,The top! The Peak! There's no turning back!The intense, the ultimate, the maximum climax!
Me on me and me on myself
Implosion !E x p l o s i o n !!....Utopia
E u p h o r i a
Hi. I have been debating on starting a blog about sex, our fascination with it and the pleasure that comes from it.
I am in my 30's and eager to find relationship partners that are as eager to please as I am.
Note*
Masturbation is the manual stimulation of the sex organs, usually to the point of orgasm (but not necessarily). It can refer to stimulation of the male or female genitals from oneself or by another person, but it is usually something that is done alone. It is an activity that coincides with "autoeroticism", which can also include the use of sex toys and non-genital stimulation. There are also machines for sale that are sometimes used to simulate sexual intercourse. It is the most common sexual practice world-wide while intercourse is the second most common. Some people are only able to achieve orgasm by themselves rather than from sexual intercourse. In the animal kingdom, it is practiced by other primate species.
Where the word comes from - The Etymology:
The word is believed by many to derive from a plural Greek word for penis (µe?ea-- mezea) and the Latin verb turbare, meaning to disturb. A competing etymology theory based on a Latin expression manus turbare meaning "to disturb with the hand" is regarded by most dictionaries as "an old conjecture". The little-used synonym 'manustupration' derives from a similar etymology, manus stuprare.
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