Words of Truth

Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads...

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish means 49

Adventurous " - Slept with everyone

Athletic " - No tits

Average looking " -Ugly

Beautiful " - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile " - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure " - On medication

Feminist " - Fat Free spirit " -

Junkie Friendship first " - Former very *friendly* person

Fun " - Annoying

New Age " - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded " - Desperate

Outgoing " - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate " - Sloppy drunk

Professional " - Bitch Voluptuous " -

Very Fat -Large frame "

- Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate " - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you everthink about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice tits!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex withyou

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sexwith you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyeand a cricket stump shoved up his backside.