Three women were talking about their love lives.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce;smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a porsche; fast andpowerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."
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Olympic Condoms...

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There is three colors", he replies, "Gold,Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?",she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course, " says the man proudly. The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

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The Immaculate Conception...
A seventy-five year old guy, his hair is completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant. Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward.

He says to the nurse, "Well, how'd I do?" The nurse says, "She had twins." He says, "Heh, heh, heh ... well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there's snow on the roof, therecan still be fire in the furnace."

She says, "Well, then you'd better change filters.Both of the babies are black. '